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The Power of Meals to Make Parenting Easier

Posted by on in Meal Planning Ideas | 2 comments

The Power of Meals to Make Parenting Easier

Let me tell you a story about my sometimes troubled relationship with providing meals for my family. Even though I know how important it is, I still have full on resistance sometimes to making meals! I fantasize about ways to get around it! Which is why I am very grateful for the knowledge I have that makes me able to mix my feelings and make special and regular meals happen anyways! Meals matter, and for much more than just the nutrition that is imparted.  I talk more in other posts about how important food is for building alignment with...

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Sibling Rivalry

Posted by on in Parenting help | 10 comments

Sibling Rivalry

One of the biggest issues that you want help with, I know, is sibling rivalry. Nothing can take a peaceful family moment and ruin it quite as quickly as children who suddenly erupt into a fight. Few things wear us down more than the endless squabbling and arguing that kids can do. What I’m going to share with you today comes from the work of my mentor, developmental psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld. He is one of the foremost experts on the planet and his book, “Hold On To Your Kids” has been a best-seller for years.  Now, in order...

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Why Your Child Misbehaves…

Posted by on in Parenting help | 9 comments

Why Your Child Misbehaves…

This blog post is based on a powerful concept that I learned directly from my first parenting mentor, Dr. Gordon Neufeld Neufeld talks about the two reasons why your child misbehaves. It’s very easy when our children misbehave to assume that they are being stubborn or they are being defiant or otherwise misbehaving. You will find it much easier to respond positively when you understand what is going on. There are actually two reasons why your children misbehave. The first reason is the one that we expect, your child is unwilling to behave....

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Setting Loving Limits

Posted by on in Parenting help | 1 comment

Setting Loving Limits

This blog post is part of the series on consequences (Part 1 is here). While I warn against the overuse of consequences, that does not mean that parenting without limits is a good thing at all. Children need structure and limits that are set firmly and lovingly. For many of us, setting limits is uncomfortable. Parents often feel like imposing a limit is being mean, when in fact limits are a kindness. Children who are raised with loving limits are much better adjusted and much more successful in the world than those who aren’t parented that...

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The Problem with Consequences Part Three

Posted by on in Parenting help | 5 comments

The Problem with Consequences Part Three

In my previous weekly tips, I didn’t mention one of the biggest issues with using consequences to teach children. Before a plant becomes visible to the human eye, it is first a tiny, dormant seed. With the right conditions, that seed starts to grow. With more nurturing, that seed grows and grows until it becomes the full-fledged plant that it was destined to be. When you or your children want to make a change, that desire, or intention is the equivalent of a plant seed. You need to nurture the desire, and make sure that the right conditions...

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The Problem with Consequences Part Two

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The Problem with Consequences Part Two

This is one of the most asked-about and confusing topics for parents. That’s why I’ve made this a three part series. I went into the overall concept of consequences in Part One. Now in Part Two, I will make an important distinction; natural versus logical consequences. Then I will follow this up with Part Three where I go deeper into why consequences are such a risky tool to use, even though they can work, and well, especially in the short-term. Many parenting educators teach consequences as one of the main tools in your parenting...

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The Problem with Consequences Part One

Posted by on in Parenting help | 2 comments

The Problem with Consequences Part One

One of the things I’m asked most about by parents is about consequences. Some parents bring up the subject almost defensively, and they want to explain to me how consequences actually work in their family. Other families are clear that they don’t want to use consequences, but they end up throwing them out from sheer desperation, as their kids aren’t listening to them until they scream or start listing off consequences. So right off, I want to say something that may surprise you. Consequences do work. So why then do I not recommend them?...

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Your Child Needs YOU to be a leader: Why Your Child Needs Limits

Posted by on in Parenting help | 12 comments

Your Child Needs YOU to be a leader: Why Your Child Needs Limits

Most parents are way more conscious and sensitive than ever before. For example, we aren’t near as likely to bark out orders to our children and disregard their feelings. And old parenting defaults such as children being expected to be seen but not heard have fallen out of favor.  However, in becoming gentler, more conscious parents, we have often lost our way in one of our pivotal roles, that of our child’s most important leader. Imagine you are in an altercation with someone in a public place that deteriorates into a shoving match. We all...

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Next Time

Posted by on in Parenting help | 1 comment

Next Time

  I want to share a simple but extremely powerful concept. We’re all very sensitive to criticism. Unfortunately, almost all of us have way too much of it in our lives. You can make a massive shift in your family by making a small change in how you word things. When your children make a mistake, or when you want to suggest that they do things differently in the future, say these magic words, “Next time can you ….” For example, if your child has spills milk, while you’re cleaning up the mess or they’re...

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