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Why Your Child Misbehaves…

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Why Your Child Misbehaves…

This blog post is based on a powerful concept that I learned directly from my first parenting mentor, Dr. Gordon Neufeld Neufeld talks about the two reasons why your child misbehaves. It’s very easy when our children misbehave to assume that they are being stubborn or they are being defiant or otherwise misbehaving. You will find it much easier to respond positively when you understand what is going on. There are actually two reasons why your children misbehave. The first reason is the one that we expect, your child is unwilling to behave....

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Setting Loving Limits

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Setting Loving Limits

This blog post is part of the series on consequences (Part 1 is here). While I warn against the overuse of consequences, that does not mean that parenting without limits is a good thing at all. Children need structure and limits that are set firmly and lovingly. For many of us, setting limits is uncomfortable. Parents often feel like imposing a limit is being mean, when in fact limits are a kindness. Children who are raised with loving limits are much better adjusted and much more successful in the world than those who aren’t parented that...

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The Problem with Consequences Part Three

Posted by in Parenting help | 5 comments

The Problem with Consequences Part Three

In my previous weekly tips, I didn’t mention one of the biggest issues with using consequences to teach children. Before a plant becomes visible to the human eye, it is first a tiny, dormant seed. With the right conditions, that seed starts to grow. With more nurturing, that seed grows and grows until it becomes the full-fledged plant that it was destined to be. When you or your children want to make a change, that desire, or intention is the equivalent of a plant seed. You need to nurture the desire, and make sure that the right conditions...

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The Problem with Consequences Part Two

Posted by in Parenting help | 4 comments

The Problem with Consequences Part Two

This is one of the most asked-about and confusing topics for parents. That’s why I’ve made this a three part series. I went into the overall concept of consequences in Part One. Now in Part Two, I will make an important distinction; natural versus logical consequences. Then I will follow this up with Part Three where I go deeper into why consequences are such a risky tool to use, even though they can work, and well, especially in the short-term. Many parenting educators teach consequences as one of the main tools in your parenting...

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The Problem with Consequences Part One

Posted by in Parenting help | 2 comments

The Problem with Consequences Part One

One of the things I’m asked most about by parents is about consequences. Some parents bring up the subject almost defensively, and they want to explain to me how consequences actually work in their family. Other families are clear that they don’t want to use consequences, but they end up throwing them out from sheer desperation, as their kids aren’t listening to them until they scream or start listing off consequences. So right off, I want to say something that may surprise you. Consequences do work. So why then do I not recommend them?...

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Your Child Needs YOU to be a leader: Why Your Child Needs Limits

Posted by in Parenting help | 12 comments

Your Child Needs YOU to be a leader: Why Your Child Needs Limits

Most parents are way more conscious and sensitive than ever before. For example, we aren’t near as likely to bark out orders to our children and disregard their feelings. And old parenting defaults such as children being expected to be seen but not heard have fallen out of favor.  However, in becoming gentler, more conscious parents, we have often lost our way in one of our pivotal roles, that of our child’s most important leader. Imagine you are in an altercation with someone in a public place that deteriorates into a shoving match. We all...

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Next Time

Posted by in Parenting help | 1 comment

Next Time

  I want to share a simple but extremely powerful concept. We’re all very sensitive to criticism. Unfortunately, almost all of us have way too much of it in our lives. You can make a massive shift in your family by making a small change in how you word things. When your children make a mistake, or when you want to suggest that they do things differently in the future, say these magic words, “Next time can you ….” For example, if your child has spills milk, while you’re cleaning up the mess or they’re...

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What’s the craziest thing you’ve done while multi-tasking?

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What’s the craziest thing you’ve done while multi-tasking?

  What’s the craziest thing you’ve done as a parent because you had too many things going on at the same time? I ran over my laptop yesterday.   It was a chain of events that could ONLY happen to a mom. It was also one of the more  absurd moments in my life:) My husband, male friends and family are assuring me could not ever have happened to them. And unlike the too serious and often miserable me in my twenties or early thirties, I could hardly stop laughing about it all day! I was able to stay in a place of trusting that it...

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We’re on Huff Post Live!

Posted by in Parenting help | 2 comments

    Register for this webinar now!   Watch The Huffington Post replay here.    ...

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