The path to the family you want to have is paved with celebrations and wins. That is true even if you are currently screaming at your kids while their behavior seems to spin more and more out of control. This tip is for you if you are tired of being miserable, and ready for a lighter AND more effective way.
It is ironic that the harder things are going for us, the more important it is to find some wins to celebrate. Human nature seems to often get mired in what isn’t working. The fact is our brains were designed to scan for danger and negatives that could hurt us. But that can get us into a rut, where we feel defeated before we even begin.
The fact is, it is highly demotivating and a huge energy killer, to think that all is doom and gloom. Interestingly enough, too high standards are one of the main reasons for this type of attitude and for a LACK of success. Yet perfectionists, (I am a recovering perfectionist), often don’t understand that their unreasonable expectations of themselves are a major reason why their lives are so far from how they want them to be. It’s a bit like a dog chasing its tail, only a lot less fun.
Not only will you be more inspired and have more energy if you celebrate everything, but your kids will want to be part of the fun! It’s very powerful for kids to feel included in part of something good. When you have a lighter attitude where little wins result in happy dances or some such thing, your kids will want to join in the fun. That means they will want to pitch in more to help generate those good times.
One way to celebrate everything is to aim for Bs, or good enough. So if your child cleans the bathroom, don’t worry about it being spotless, especially at the start. When your child beams with satisfaction that she made you breakfast in bed, you roll with it despite the burnt toast or missing butter, right? Let your child see your joy and you will get more actions like this one. (A happy dance upon being presented with breakfast in bed, even if you don’t get out of bed, will convey your joy so effectively!).
We all love to be around people who are light and fun, right? I teach a lot about the mindset required to be the parent you want to be. If you are too serious or stressed to start celebrating things, don’t despair. Stick around and I’ll teach you the tools that I first used, and now teach to parents all over the world. They will help you find the lighter side of life, where your children much more naturally want to please you and be like you.
I’d LOVE to hear a few of the things you can start celebrating. What are your favorite ways to celebrate? If you want to make my week, post a video below of you, and/or your family, doing your happy dance or whatever you like to do to celebrate!